On Film and Life : Part II

Today, I got to witness another birth of a child. It was because of photography. It was with the help of photography. A baby girl was born into this wild world. Having this opportunity, kind of, mesmerizes me. I'm incredibly lucky to be there with my camera as parents welcome their new child, as a new human being takes his/her first breaths out of the comfort of the womb. 

I am pretty grateful for all this. But there is a downside to it, which I would have to admit. I am a young woman who has not had a child yet. When I first started photographing these births, it was dizzying for me to be in that room, watch mothers go through this probably the most profound experience that a woman can have. Especially when it came to C-sections, that's when things got even more fascinating.  Today though, I came to a realization about photography and my camera. As much as it opens countless doors for me in unimaginable situations, it does one more thing for me. It normalizes things and situations that would normally be otherwise. Births, especially C-sections, can get gory sometimes. But as soon as I put the camera on my face, it all becomes more distant. It is like I am removed from that situation that my camera put me in. I sort of become numb to what is happening before my eyes. 

On the other hand photography makes the distant near. Like this picture... 

It was shot on a warm Costa Rica morning, while walking on the beach. I had just wanted to document and remind myself this wild piece of nature. Behind, there was the ocean, rejoicing the shore with every breaking wave. Looking at this photograph, I can almost feel the sand on my feet, the breeze on my skin and I can almost hear the water. 

This frame had one of the best exposure out of the rolls I developed, which makes it a bit more tactile. And thus more near...

If I were there right now, I would probably try to walk into the moil of the branches and find a spot to sit down and do people watching. 

And if I made it far back enough,  this lush would be part of my view.

On the top-right portion of this frame there is a thin white mark, that was basically a piece of hair on the scanner that made its way to the final scan. I tried to fix it several times, but didn't end up with any satisfying result. Normally, I would spend hours trying to fix that. But this time, I am leaving it as it is. This is not a professional image I made for a client or a publication. It is completely personal and it is OK to be imperfect like this. It is okay to make this image more vulnerable to questions or criticism  and same goes for me as a photographer. It is okay.

This was the main road that went down to the main entrance of the beach in Playa Guiones, where I lived in Costa Rica. Most of the business were located on this road. So was my (home) office. It was on the left, right after that second SUV.  It took me less than 10 minutes to get to the beach under normal circumstances. A lot of people would find it pretty ideal. And it was for me, as well. For a while. But some things get old pretty fast for various reasons.

 

This, I believe, was the bus station in Liberia. It was the nearest big city for me. It was a frequent stop, since I was having to leave the country to renew my visa. Liberia is about two hours from the Nicaraguan border. Costa Rica side of the ride wasn't as pleasant of a view as it was once I crossed the border. You would see windmills and a lake along with the farm lands and small neighborhoods in Nicaragua. It always felt more real there.




And here comes my lady, Guadalupe. She just makes me feel so peaceful. I have no recollections of the moment or the place I made this picture. But I am glad I did. She is such a lovely lady.

Thanks for looking!